Throw me a bone...

Well, it’s official, I’m in the dog house! For one reason or another some people seem to think that that is where I belong lately and so I decided to build my own “luxury” dog house as I do like to make myself comfortable regardless of where I’m staying. After all they don't call me "Queen" for nothing;)

Alright, so I’m a fairly flawed individual, we’ve already established that, and I never stated otherwise. I’m not quick with returning phone calls, I don’t reply to emails as fast as I'd like to, I’m always a few minutes late for appointments (though I’ve been getting much better with this one) and admittedly, I have had difficulties making definite plans with people, in fact, I’ve had to cancel a few times (ok, more than a few but that was out of my control as I’ve been sick and extremely busy). I’m a horrible, horrible woman and I should be arrested on all those counts and have the key thrown away for good. I should be shipped away to Guantanamo Bay (although the Cuban gov’t would probably reject me too). In fact, just send me to the guillotine and get it over with. OoooOOooo, how I know some would love to see that happen!

On that note I’ve read a great article lately (courtesy of my friend Jon – thanks Jon. I love your blog - “All I need is Everything”, excellent song.) and I found the words by Noah benShea to be right on target. Feel free to check it out:

http://www.noahbenshea.com/noahwindow.htm

We all know my filter system needs replacing, or at the very least, some fine-tuning. Gaffes are part of my daily existence and there have been (and continue to be) too many to mention but then again I’m also the type who thinks her whole life is a blooper…though not everyone is laughing at the moment.

I have to admit I love surfing the web and finding the most absurd pages and articles and other "conspiracy theory" stuff – I recently stumbled upon a David Suzuki article titled: GROW A HEART which read: “Will humans ever be able to re-grow damaged limbs or organs? It's impossible to say but the potential for regeneration appears to reside in our genes”. Not exactly what I was looking for but interesting nevertheless.

People were once under the impression that their emotions came from their hearts, maybe because the heart beats faster when a person is scared or excited. Now of course we know that emotions come from the brain, and that the brain tells the heart what to do. So what's the heart up to? Well,for starters place your hand a little to the left of your chest and make sure that it’s beating. Let’s not forget that the heart IS the hardest working muscle in our body so let’s give it a break sometimes.



Everyone seems to be talking about LOVE lately.
Love according to Wikipedia: Love is essentially an abstract concept, easier to experience than to explain. Because of the complex and abstract nature of love, discourse on love is commonly reduced to a thought-terminating cliché, and there are a number of common proverbs regarding love, from Virgil's "Love conquers all" to The Beatles' "All you need is love." Bertrand Russell describes love as a condition of "absolute value," as opposed to relative value. Though love is considered a positive and desirable aspect of existence, love can cause a great deal of emotional harm. Consider Romeo and Juliet, Othello, Great Expectations, and other classical and popular works that enumerate how love can lead to tragedy and emotional pain. In human interactions, love becomes a peril when love is not bilateral, known as Unrequited love. A further peril for individuals that love, or can love others, is that love is not enduring and that many people have psychological defense mechanisms inhibit their ability to accept or reciprocate love.

Love love love. Frankly I loved the way John Lennon talked about it. So many songs sang, some many poems written, and so many romantic movies made, yet, no one has the vaguest idea as to what this thing called LOVE really is. Of course I love my son, I love my family and I love my friends but when it comes to men I am absolutely and incredibly unfamiliar with this type of emotion. Why? No idea. Perhaps I need to grow a heart.

After my divorce I realized that I had a severe allergic reaction to most men. The idea of spending the rest of my life under the same roof with ONE man is insanity to me. I like the concept of it and I do occasionally fantasies about it but essentially the reality that surrounds me has proved me that these days it is rare that two people will stick it out for the long hall after getting married - unless they live separately:) Every time I turn around someone is breaking up, separating, divorcing, and/or plotting murder.Good God! What is happening? One year, maybe five years or ten at the most and then you’re bored. He/she is not paying attention to you or your needs anymore; the sex is boring or non existent; he/she doesn’t tell you he/she loves you anymore, and this person who initially rocked your world has now become a constant temptation for you to become a murderer.



I’m not a nihilistic person who doesn’t believe you have a purpose and that life has no meaning. My cynicism and hostility on this subject do not mean that I’ve completely lost faith in the whole marriage institution and part of me still believes that you actually can have a life with the same person by your side...all the time...the same person for the rest of your life... I know it's possible and my brother has certainly proven that it is doable. He’s been happily married for over 17 years and although they have a less then perfect marriage they make it work fabulously and they STILL really love one another. (You guys are my idols.)

It takes time and patience. Love almost never stands by itself, it is normally accompanied by respect, passion, tolerance, admiration, understanding, playfulness, and some good fights followed by wild-passionate-tender-fiery sex.

I remember this particular episode of 'Sex and The City' and I quote:
There are those who open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those who bring up lots of questions, those who bring you somewhere unexpected, those who bring you far from where you started , and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

On that note (and a little off subject)I’d like to point out that my only request to Santa this past Christmas was to have one date with George Clooney. ONE DATE ONLY. Fat bastard (Santa) better not show his face around my house;) Not to mention all the work I DO to make my son happy at Christmas time only to have Santa take all the credit. Thank God we’ve already killed the Easter Bunny;) Son of a bitch.

Alright, enough foolery, besides, I’m starting to freeze my ass off out here, in the dog house…

Will someone please throw me a bone? Maybe a nice rib steak!