A "KISS": A pleasant reminder that two heads are better than one.

She seemed to melt against him in her terror, and he caught her in his arms, held her fast there, felt her lashes beat against his cheek like netted
butterflies.

Kiss kis,v.t.. to caress or salute with the lips: to touch gently.- v.i. to salute with the lips: to collide.-n. a caress or salute with the lips:

But Kisses can be so different. They can be loving, questioning, tender, passionate, aggressive, gentle, adoring, protective, jealous, funny, or even sad.

by Lynn Snowden

Never underestimate the power of the perfect kiss. Get it right, and the rest will fall into place.

It has been theorized that a woman decided within five minutes of meeting a man whether or not she will have sex with him. Possibly true, but there is one catch. Most women I know, myself included, may initially decide we'll have sex with a guy, but when we find out he's a bad or a mediocre kisser, we change our minds entirely. We decide we will never have sex with this guy. He won't even get asked for a nightcap, much less for breakfast the next morning. As our lips part while we stand on the doorstep, we will announce that we have an early-morning meeting or (if you were really awful) that we're actually already married to someone else.

What we will never, ever say is, "God, you're a lousy kisser. I was going to have sex with you until just this moment." This is one of the ways in which men and women differ. If a man is very attracted to a woman but discovers she's a bad or mediocre kisser, he'll probably have sex with her anyway if presented with the opportunity. A woman can't get past a bad kiss. (Unless, of course, she's a horrible kisser herself, but we're not talking about those women here.) Experience has shown most women that a bad kiss only spells trouble down the road, so to speak. After all, if he hasn't mastered kissing and fails to see its sensual possibilities, what hope is there for, ahem, anything else?

The disappointment of a bad kiss is a recurring topic of discussion among a group of single women I run with in the park several times a week. "It tuens into a fabric softener thing," says Nora, a blond from Dallas, when describing the previous night's date. "You know, where the guy kisses you and it's so bad but you've got to finish it up so your mind wanders and you start wondering if you have enough fabric softener to do two loads of laundry the next day?" She laughs. "So I'm thinking about that, and the guy says, "Wow! You're very passionate."

Oh, the egos we would crush if men could hear the post-mortems. If any guys happen to be running with us, they immediately demand to know what exactly constitutes a bad or good kisser. So we tell them about the all-purpose litmus test: A bad kisser, reguardless of whether he likes to secrete a gallon of drool or waggle his head like a dog menacing a bone, seems to be simultaneously thinking: " When can we get to step two? And three and four? Is she aroused yet? can I put my hand on her breast now?" He sees kissing as the next step on a carnal quest. The good kisser, however, sees the kiss as the destination itself. He kisses as if he will never do anything else with this woman, as if he never wants to do anything else with this woman. He kisses as if this is what he's been dying to do for years and he wants to savor every moment. I guarentee you that this is when the woman decides there will be other activities on the agenda.

The first thing to remember: When in Doubt, Go Slowly. make that first kiss slow and gentle and easy. While you may want to demonstrate that you're a cauldron of seething desire, save that for later, when you're both sufficiently warmed up. In the meantime, resist the urge to mash your face against hers so hard your teeth collide and she ends up with brush burns from your stubble. One woman in our running group actually passed out during a particularly bad kiss of this sort, when the man pressed his face to hers so tightly he blocked off her nose with his cheek, mistook her thrshing for passion, and suddenly felt her body go limp. "i was out for maybe thrity seconds," she says. "Fortunately, he had me in a bear hug, so I didn't hit the group. Of course, he thought I passed out because the kiss was so good." This is what's known as the Harrison Ford School of Making Out. Watch him in the movies,a nd watch his costar's face get twisted out of shape from the sheer force. this is also why they're panting afterward. It's not from desire, it's oxygen deprivation. So the second thing to remember while kissing is to make sure she can still breathe through her nose.

There are other movie stars who perpetuate bad kissing styles. There's the Tom Cruise Method (as seen in Top Gun), whereby his tongue is already slithering out before he's met her lips. This is also referred to as the Lizard-King Style, and once lip-locked, it may also feature the rather grotesque tongue-insterted-rapidly-in-and-out. Most women do not cherish the idea of kissing a large anaconda, which is what this must be similar to. Equally unappealing is when the guy's tongue seems to be on a thorough search for any food trapped between the woman's molars. This is her tongue's job, not yours. The only response possible is for the woman to open her mouth wide and remain motionless while he finishes his routing, a posture that calls to mind trips to the dentist.

Like good sex and great dancing, any tongue action should involve a give-and-take, with both parties allowed the opportunity for interaction in a saliva-laden minuet. Get into a groove with this, and every now and then you may want to stop for a short time while still joined at thelips. Like being on a dance floor and suddenly holding your partner motionless, it can have the galvanizing effect of heightening the sensation. this is ideally practiced in places like a dark booth in a dive bar with a great jukebox. Just make sure your sleeve doesn't catch fire from the candle on the table.

So although no one wants a tongue completely jammed down her throat, neither do we want its exact opposite, as favored by Woody Allen, one of the screen's all-time-worst kissers. Check out the last scene in Hannah and Her Sisters, and you'll see him pecking away at Dianne Wiest. This Road-runner-eats-birdseed style of dry, repeated kisses accompanied by inordinately loud smacky sounds is not what any woman fantasizes about--even if she's weird enough to fantasize about kissing Woody Allen. The occasional smacky sound is inevitable and can exciting, but go easy on the moaning and groaning. Its sounds fake at best and, at worst, like an unconscious habit, like tuneless whistling.

Daniel Day-Lewis belongs in the kissing hall of fame for Best Use of Hands. He gently caresses his costar's face and touches her hair, a model of how hands can increase the erotic pleasure of the moment. Bear in mind the hands should not be used to prevent the woman from going anywhere or to clamp her head into one uncomfortable position. Remember most women like men to toy gently with their hair. After decades of bad press about sticky hairsprays and helmet hair, most of us have been using products to enhance "touchability" and are favoring hairstyles that look good a bit tousled. So go ahead and touch hair. And quit using all that sticky hairspray and goo so we can go back to touching yours.

Finally, I offer this suggestion: Try opening your eyes. I once cautiously opened my eyes while kissing and saw a pair of brown eyes staring back at me, which made the kiss even better because it became more intimate. Some people find this to be an impossible task (like sneezing with your eyes open), but while the prevailing belief is that we must try to block out all other sensations, you may find that kissing with your eyes open is the sensual equivalent of making love with the lights on.

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Salt Spring Island - North America's best small arts town

Well, I am finally able to sit in front of this computer after weeks of non-stop insanity and update my life in a public domain for everyone to see and read. Here is where I allow some of my thoughts and life adventures to leak out, but that hardly makes me egoistical…or does it?

I am currently sitting outside the Starbucks by Gyro Park. It’s about 6:30 p.m. and it’s a very nice evening. I have a ‘Grande’ banana frappuccino sitting in front of me (see picture above) and boy is it ever taaaasty. Yum. On that note…, today it is also day two of my new “gym” regime. Yes, those of you laughing out there who know how much I despise going to the “the gym” I have decided that it is time to begin getting in “better” shape. Of course normal people out there would do this before summer, NOT before winter! Anyway…. ohh, hang on…….ok, before I begin narrating about my Salt Spring vacation I have to mention that I just spotted an “online date” meeting. I’m no ‘expert’ but given the guy got here about ten minutes ago (I was checking him out) and had that nervous look as he sat down by the window and kept looking outside until just a few moments ago a cute girl with long dark hair, quite pretty, fairly fashion oriented just came in and..... noo nooooo, OMG what are you doing? She just shook his hand – For those of you out there doing the whole online dating thing (and I know NOTHING about it) NEVER EVER SHAKE hands when meeting in a public place, it’s a dead give away to people like me who are staring at you and it’s also so cheesy. Does a hug really frighten people? I mean, if you are interested enough in meeting him/her don’t you think he/she is worth a hug? A little human contact will do you good;)

Sorry, I totally went off subject AGAIN.

Alright, let’s move on and stop gazing at people who evidently have less pathetic lives at the moment than mine, though I have to say, I’m perfectly happy doing exactly what I’m doing right now, in fact, I may not be the next Aristotle but this (writing) is one of the few things that makes me happiest in life.

Salt Spring Island was great. Vinnie and I had an awesome time. I find it incredibly fascinating how easily a mother is able to pump a seven year old into believing that going to Salt Spring Island is going to be the vacation of his life time. What is even more fascinating is discovering that that same seven year old actually appreciates the beauty that Mother Nature has given us a lot more deeply than I had even given him credit for. My boy actually gets it, yeay:)

Our little vacation was from start to finish a ride of pure highs that not only will never be forgotten but also one that has marked another happy chapter in my life.

Vinnie and I began our adventure on Tuesday morning. We made a quick stop by “nonna’s house” for a quick ‘espresso’ and a few standard recommendations by my mom. It’s cute and I, as a mother myself, understand and simpathize. Motherhood is for life.

As usual the little road trip began with the digital camera at hand. I think I’m starting to annoy people with it so I’ve started becoming a little more discrete in pulling it out.

Once the little man and I got to Salt Spring we headed directly for the Blue Heron which is where we were staying. The B&B is about 8K from the town, way past St. Mary’s Lake. The drive was beautiful and of course I had to stop along the way to take some pics….

I’m also glad to report that I never once got lost though most of my friends said it is impossible to get lost on Salt Spring; however, some of those same friends also told me that it is nearly impossible to kill one of those little green bamboos plants…..guess what? My little bamboo plant is barely hanging:(
Ok, so I had to stop once to ask for directions and a couple of friendly guys were kind enough to help us out. I must say, everyone on the island seemed extremely friendly – must be the herbal green diet everyone seems to be on;)

Once we got to the Blue Heron we met Liz (the woman who runs the B&B) and she was a 60 some old gray hair delight. A retired elementary teacher who right away got on the good side of Vinnie when she gave him a bunch of beautiful rocks. Boys love rocks! Just the same way the love their back scratched. What’s with that? She told us that she’s never had a "mother and son" stay there and thought it was a pretty sweet thing. "What a great mom you have." she said to Vinnie as I smiled proudly to confirm what Vinnie already knows. Our cabin was unbelievable. She runs three cabins and they’re all separate from one another – completely private. We of course got the biggest one and it was just like a little log home. The place was complete of a living room, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. The bedroom had this huge window that faced the ocean and the back of the cabin faced the forest. Nothing but us and beautiful tall green trees, the ocean and the smell of pure life. The bed was HUGE; king size though I swear it was even bigger than that, and sooooo soft. I must’ve thrown myself on it 100 times until I finally started getting a little light headed and nauseous;) Once we settled all our stuff we headed into town, browsed stores and walked by the water. We then started searching for a place to eat and found this restaurant called: La Cucina e Terrazzo (could it be Italian?). We sat on the patio which was right by the marina and we enjoyed some of the best pizza ever. Vinnie had a limonata and I had a glass of white vino. After dinner we went to this store where they sold all kinds of neat organic creams, stones and silver jewellery so Vinnie and I decided to buy a silver ring each as a momentum of our little vacation. He bought a thumb ring which he said I couldn’t wear because it’s too “manly”. Yes, if he doesn’t want me to use any of his things now he says: it’s too manly for you mamma. And of course he knows that I want to be anything BUT manly.

We drove and walked around exploring the Island and it is so beautiful and so peaceful. Even though I would admittedly never want to live there, I can appreciate the simpler way of life of the Islanders. We got back to our cabin around 9ish and decided to play cards and do some drawing. He then wrote about his day in his journal and after that he went to bed and fell fast asleep after a few of mamma's kisses and caresses. I then stepped outside the back porch to breath in the beauty and spend a little quality time with myself! I like doing that. I like being with myself. I sat outside and looked at the trees and the flowers and smelled the ocean and I honestly don’t know exactly how long I sat there but I caught myself wondering off to another dimension. It was one of those moments where you count your blessings and thank your lucky stars for putting you exactly where you are at that exact moment.

We had a great sleep. I woke up first (as usual) and sat in front of the window looking at the amazing view while drinking my espresso (yes, I brought my little espresso machine). The sun was rising, trying to kiss me through the window and the sky was clear and infinite.

Liz left some blueberry muffins outside our door (8 to be precise. How many people are staying here?) but Vinnie and I needed a little more substance than that so we went searching for a place to eat some real food (eggs eggs eggs). We drove by the golf course and decided to see if they served food. It was nice place. We sat outside watching people golfing while enjoying omelettes and ashbrowns (hmmm good). As we’re sitting there enjoying real food this woman in her mid 40s comes and sits beside our table. As she hears Vinnie and I talking she asks where we’re from (you know? my fake accent always attracts attention;). Her name is Laura, she’s an avid golfer and is there EVERY day and that was obvious since she knew EVERYONE. She and her partner have been living on the Island for nearly four years and love it. She seems to take a like to us and offers Vinnie some free Golf lessons which he’s very happy to take. She asked what our plans were and I told her I wanted to go sailing and was going to look into that at some point later in the morning. She tells us that there is a well known fellow who does that right by the marina who’s also the best sailor “in the world”. She gives us the name and then tells us to meet her there as she’s heading down as well to HER Boat. As she lights up her third cigarette since we met her she gets into her $40,000 convertible jaguar and we follow her down to the marina. We meet the fellow and his beautiful sailing boat and he tells us to be back around 1 p.m. as he’s waiting for two more tourists. We get invited to go and hang out on Laura’s boat while we wait and “Wow”, gorgeous boat.

The sun is hot and covering us with pleasant heat as we sit on her deck. Vinnie has been given the ok to browse around and even go downstairs as long as he doesn’t touch anything. COOL, it’s his response to that. Laura and I chatted for a while and exchanged emails as we said our goodbyes.

Vinnie was so excited to go sailing, the look on his face was full of puzzled excitement not sure what to expect. We sailed for four hours and never once did he complain. It was beautiful and at one point I laid down closed my eyes and escaped reality – for just a few minutes I felt like I was flying on top of the world.

We returned back to Ganges at around 17:30 and headed to “Teddy Bear burger” (or something like that) and had …..BURGERS. The owner was telling us how the name of the place came about and given that the joint is wall to wall covered with stuffed animals it was pretty clear. I guess it all began when someone broke in and stole a couple of teddy bears he had sitting on the counter and so people around town started bringing him new ones every time they went in to eat and so now he has tons of them. It’s cute. After that we went to the park and played on the swing for a bit. Shortly after a kid and his cowboy dad (I assume it was his dad) show up and so I tell Vinnie to go make a new friend since he too was playing by himself. I sat and watched him interact with his newfound buddy. It was sweet and so candid. At one point Vinnie falls from one of the slides and I can tell he’s kind of hurt but tries so hard to look cool in front of the other kid. Normally he would give me the sad look while tears escape him waiting for me to run to him to reassure him he’s ok and hug him and kiss him, but he’s growing and like most “boys” out there, he has to look tough in front of the other “boys”. He’s growing and I am so proud of himJ

As Vinnie is playing I see this long hair dude who as he walks by me says: hey sister, how goes? I smile genuinely but don’t make long eye contact because I don’t want to chat and luckily he keeps walking. Vinnie’s new friend is called away by his cowboy dad whom btw I call cowboy because this 6+ feet man was wearing a COWBOY hat, COWBOY boots, slick sunglasses and ass tight jeans. Not bad if you’re into that kind of look but the only time it ever worked for me was when I saw Brokeback Mountain with Jake Gyllenhall and Heath Ledger and unfortunately for my fantasies they both played gay characters - and I'm just a one man kind of girl.

So it’s now 20:00 or so and the prince and the queen (that would be Vinnie and me) decide it’s time to head back to the cabin and so off we go. On the way back we cranked Green day “time of your life” and sang along – it’s a guarantee that neither one us is going to try out for Canadian Idol anytime soon. Poor kid, he’s been cursed with my off-tune singing;)

Once home Vinnie runs off to update his journal and I had a nice, relaxing bubble bath in the large, shiny white tub, but not without asking Vinnie first to let me soak for a while without interruptions (if you have a child then you know that sometimes you need plead for a little quite time) to which he agrees with good intentions.

We spent the rest of the night sitting outside on the patio chatting and playing some cards (a game which Vinnie and I invented that requires minimal attention but that’s mostly based on poor sportsmanship…. and lots of laughter). At around 23:00 after a few mother/son candid chats I tuck him in and go outside. It’s dark and I start thinking that at any given moment a cougar or a bear could jump out of a tree and get me. Ok, maybe not but it’s thrilling thinking that it could happen.

Vinnie and I could easily have spent another couple of days over to Salt Spring; nonetheless we had an amazing time. We bonded, we laughed, we explored, bought bongos (which he played for me all the way back to Victoria), took a ton of pictures, met some interesting people and smoked a ton of weed… whaaaat? Mamma, relax. I’m just KIDDING;)

To view photos from this trip click on the link below:
http://farfalla1972.spaces.live.com/