Do you listen to the words?

I've often wondered how many people 'actually' hear the words of the songs they really like to listen to. I mean really pay attention to the words. I know for a fact that many don't. Anyway, I heard this song on the radio a couple of days ago called "If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback and granted I'm not a huge fan of this particular band when I got home I downloaded the song and then listened carefully to the lyrics just to be sure I had really gotten the words correctly. I love it. Beautiful lyrics - and I don't mean in a sappy, corny type way. If only we could all learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience and find time in each day to see beauty and love in the world around us, maybe, just maybe we'd all be able to feel life a little more intensely and therefore learn to care and sing along with everyone else.
I once read somewhere: "some moments in life are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some to be chewed and digested". Isn't that the truth!

If Everyone Cared Lyrics

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

And I'm singing
Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive
Amen I, Amen I, Amen I, I'm alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen, I, I'm alive
Singing Amen, I, I'm alive(I'm alive)

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we'd see the day when nobody died

When nobody died...
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died

On Top of Mt. Doug

2006 In review on top of Mt. Doug

I'm on top of Mt. Doug, and I have the best seat in the house. I'm facing the ocean and the mountains and the world right now seems so calm and peaceful which makes it that much harder to believe that elsewhere it's a whole other story. Last week I got myself a laptop and I finally decided to test this baby out so I decided to come up on top of Mt. Doug for a little solitude and a little 'playing'. Already I can see how this is going to become a very dangerous addiction. I foresee myself doing a lot of this - going to places away from traffic noises, people and buildings where I can be alone with my thoughts and write, write, write. Woo hoo, I'm in heaven!

There is no one around right now, just little me; nature; birds and bees; ants who seems to find a way to crawl in and out my shirt; Barry White and this spectacular/breathtaking view! Ok, I have to say I'm no pot head (well not anymore anyway), but boy a little toke sure would make this particular moment a heck of a lot sweeter. I so need to be stoned!

The wind caressing my face and waving my hair around feel sooooo damn good. I'm holding on to this feeling for as long as I can...I so needed this. Of course when you're surrounded by all this beauty you can't help it but be inspired and get a little philosophical, and think a little deeper than you normally would.

So the deep thought right now is: where am I in life and how did I get here?
Well, I certainly know how I got here and it wasn't by a first class flight, in fact I'd compare it more to hanging on the wing of a very slow and beat up airplane that barely made the landing, but nonetheless, it landed. However, I can say confidently without a doubt, that I would do it all over again just to feel the way I am feeling this exact moment. By no means I'm the happiest girl on earth, specifically since these last few days have been very trying for me and I've been feeling a sense of loss and disappointment (I heard that George Clooney is gay) but of course these are also the moments in life that make us stop and think who we are, how strong we are and how lovely it is to be inside the liquor store;) If there is one thing I'm certain of right now it is that I've come a long way to become the person I am, love and appreciate (yes, with all my quirkiness as well as my not-so-good qualities-which are very few of course).

I guess this year started a little on the rocky side but I came out of it pretty good and with only a few scratches which are now completely healed, of course, we do have another 5 months or so to go before the end of 2006;) My divorce which ironically enough was effective on my birthday (May 19) gave me a sense of peace, and along with that came the feeling that I could finally move on, and so I did. Yes, I have a marriage on my shoulder but no regrets whatsoever and leaving him was the right decision for me. It wasn't easy and I was incredibly scared but I did it and I have never looked back. I have absolutely no regrets.

This year I also became a Canadian citizen and though [I will admit] I decided to do it primarily for convenience (so I didn't have to renew my Italian passport every time since it's truly a pain in the ass) I found myself, on the day I actually took my oath at the Governor house, feeling 'funny' inside. Everyone knows I don't cry easily but that day, I could've sworn a tear was about to slide out of my eye. I felt emotional and happy; I am now a Canadian. Of course, my roots, my love and passion come first and foremost from my bella Italia, but I couldn't be happier to also add Canada in my heart as it has certainly become a love of mine. For so long I had this 'love/hate affair with Canada and I guess It took me a long time to get here and learn to love this country, but I do, I really do. I guess the main reason why I struggled for so long was because so soon after I moved here my beautiful sister Chicca died and those were the darkest days of my life. The first days in Canada were the most horrible and I felt pain I didn't know I would ever feel. I guess I had to place the blame somewhere, and I so I blamed this country. I realized it was wrong but with time and maturity we learn to see things under a completely different light. I often wonder what she would be like today - with such outgoing and funny personality at the tender age of 2 and a half, I can only imagine she would have been the light of my life. I miss her!

All in all, I can comfortably say that I am today a pretty happy gal. I could use a few things (like......) but I can't complain. Looking back at the sad/tragic moments in my life (and there have been a few) I have learned that you need to move on and not dwell on the past but rather remember the happy times and there are plenty. I guess the key is realizing and accepting that life can't be happy all the time, (just turn on the news). It's ok to remember the sadder times in our lives as long as we dont'let them control our present and our future.

I can make myself have a miserable day as well as a fantastic one, only I have that power and although we often give that power to others, sometimes being the circumstances surrounding us, only we can turn things around. And so today I decided that I am going to have a fantastic day, and so far so good!

Dreaming of Home

This is an article I happened to read today and it's just one of the many I've been reading or hearing about lately. It just reminds me of how lucky most of us are, and how little we appreciate life. I'm also attaching a link with details on what's really happening but please be aware that some of the pictures are quite disturbing.

http://www.pierretristam.com/

"I went to sleep today, for the first time in days perhaps. In dreams, I thought, life could be better. For someone who has a lot of nightmares, my dreamland proved to be indeed better than reality. I was back with my family in our old Beirut home, sitting at the dinner table, my brothers eating in a hurry and then dashing off to play, and I remain with my parents, keeping them company and listening to their gossip. The food is magnificent and my parents' company, which I took for granted until the day I moved out of their house, is warm and comforting.
I woke up to hear that the White House declared the destruction of my homeland part of a Global War on Terror. Siniora is warning the diplomatic community that the collapse of his government, which they say they want to preserve, is unavoidable if the destruction continues. Michel Aoun, who with others in the country gave Hizbullah the legitimacy they did not deserve, now denies he's in contacts with them and acts like they're a liability he doesn't need. Aoun warned of a civil war should Israel continue to destroy army facilities, which he claimed were used to monitor arms smuggling by sea to extremist groups.
I immediately called my father in Lebanon. They're safe but the morale is low. There is no end in sight for their predicament, and my father is angry at those "Arabs" who left us again to die for them. I tell him about my fears about Lebanon becoming another Iraq, now that its destruction has become part of the infamous Global War on Terror. He tells me that people are indeed afraid this could lead into a civil war in the country. The Israeli attack would stop, but only when civil war starts brewing and eventually ignites, taking the pressure off of Israel. When the Israeli lords of war say they want to turn the clock back in Lebanon 20 years, then perhaps we should think in terms of a return to civil war. My father saw the evacuation of foreigners as a bad omen.
I told my dad, whose whole life was focused on protecting me and my brothers during the war, to stay safe. He said they weren't budging from their new house in the mountains, not that they could, even if they wanted to. After all, they're refugees in their own land.
I hang up and my wife calls me. I am on the verge of tears. In just a few weeks, Kais will come into this world. We were hoping he would be born in better times. I am praying that Kais sees his grandparents and uncles as soon as he's old enough to interpret images. He will, this I keep promising myself. Until he meets them, I will tell him to look for them in his dreams. I will tell him how every night in the bomb shelter, my father told us the story of a little boy who one day asked his father: "Baba, what should I do when I grow up?" The father goes through a list of professions and recommends a few lucrative ones. Those were my father's dream professions. And he ends his story: "You do whatever you want, my son, as long as you're happy and safe."
Kais will feel safe like I felt safe when my dad told us this story to the sounds of bombs. When my son is old enough, he will see how I picked one of my father's dream jobs, and then left it to pursue what made me happy. And that turned out to be not a job, but a wonderful woman from another country, and a wonderful baby boy.
Kais, you will meet them, if not soon, in your dreams. For they are, regardless of what happens, part of the dream my father created in me. These kinds of dreams live on forever, and are passed from father to son."

Say what you feel and say it with feelings...

A couple of days ago I was having a very interesting conversation with a friend in regards to 'men' and 'women' and how we are ultimately searching for the same thing on this planet of ours, yet, it's become so difficult to find that one match, the one person (besides from family and friends) who gets you, who really gets you and that likes YOU and all that YOU are.

Ciccio has been a “dater” for as long as I remember and he was mentioning that he has even forgotten how to be in a relationship with a woman, something that lasts longer then 9 weeks. He’s ready. He’s longing now for that one particular woman who can keep his attention, for longer, much longer than that. He wants to be in love and wants someone who fits with him spiritually and can give him wild, passionate sex as well. He mentioned this one girl he really liked more than the “others” but had been foolish enough to let her slip away because at the time quantity mattered more then quality. He was too blind to see what was right in front of him and now he seems to have regained his sight. Now he feels regret! He’s tired of the constant dating and meaningless sex which lacks passion and true intimacy as when you really care about someone. He wants to find ‘the one’.

So he has decided that he's going to try and win back “the one” he let slip away and I really hope this time she’s not the blind one though being a woman myself, I wouldn't blame her if she slams the door in his face. However, I know him (Ti voglio bene Ciccio) and I know he's an amazing guy. Timing and pride always seem to be in the way and that's unfortunate in most cases. Of course I gave him some major pointers as to how he could win her back, and with his persistence, his charm, his beautiful eyes and my divine advice I have no doubt she may give him a second chance. She better otherwise I'll have to buy him the most expensive dinner ever and then marry him;)

There is truly nothing better and more comforting to have those heart-to-heart conversations with those you hold close to you. We empower one another and remind ourselves why after all this time, we're still friends and continue to need each other. We can openly talk and share our most intimate thoughts, fears, desires, and never ever judge, but rather be thankful for the love we share.

I think it's always interesting when I have certain debates/conversations with my "male" friends in regards to ‘why men do this’ and ‘why women do that’. I guess it helps to put things into a better perspective when we share a little more insight about each others' species. We (women/men) are poles apart from one another and you certainly need all the help you can get. It’s kind of like having surgery without getting your anesthetic first (ok, odd comparison but that's all I could come up with right now).

I remembered too of 'he' who may have been my "one", and wondered at times if I had let him slip away. Hard to believe, but I can be a fool occasionally (rarely of course). I still remember the day I met him, they way he looked at me, how his eyes fiercely penetrated the surface of my body and then slid from the top to the bottom. How his lips would get incredibly moist every time he looked at mine, and how mine longed to feel his, if even for just a split second. How we’d sit and talk for hours about nothing or something and it didn’t matter because we enjoyed each others’ voice and silence, silly jokes, and he even thought my snorting (while laughing out loud) was cute. I think that was truly the hardest time of my life. I couldn't act on what I was feeling. I was being tested and I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake. I had met someone so right for me but the timing was wrong, not to mention the circumstances could not allow it and my morals, integrity and will power played a key role. I guess we didn't exactly let each other slip away; we just had to be responsible and make a decision that benefited others at the time and put ourselves, our cravings and needs, our desires and dreams on the side. I often think of him and when we exchange an email every few months just to say ‘hi’ ‘how are you?’ - I still wonder….

On the other hand, I also realize that I may simply not have met the 'one', because if I had then I'd be with him right now! Now that I don't have to put myself in a secondary place and I can finally give in to my needs, my cravings, my ultimate fantasies and desires, and give all that I have to give (which is a hell of a lot….) I find myself believing that "the one" may not actually exists. So? Do you settle for other amazing possibilities? Because God knows, there are plenty out there! Or do you try and reach for the sky? Well, I am a day-dreamer and in Marianna’s land the sky is not unreachable...in fact….I can almost touch it right now;)

Ciccio says that I don't trust people. I trust people; only sometimes we put our trust in the wrong hands and become too often disappointed. I guess I trust people but it takes me a little extra time. Regardless, I may have a hard time with trusting people but I sure have a good time with sarcasm and making fun of all that comes my way. However, I've been working on taming it back a little - sarcasm is not always appreciated the way it should. I think too often we miss the very art of it and I'm an artistic soul at heart;)

Anyway, I found a poem (I know...another poem - Yikes) and I absolutely love it. It reminds me of who I am today and that no matter what kind of hits or punches I take, I'm still happy and not longer jaded, and I will never take myself, you, or life for granted.


The Joy of Living

I will sing it-
The melody of beautiful living!
I will smile
For my thoughts are of tomorrow
My eyes fixed on the rainbows of the distant future
Fixed on what lies beyond the pains of reality

Hearts beating high with expectation
Bringing joy and comfort to friends-
Young people, you are my faith

I have no cold tears
I do not pass my life in silence
I am not bound by any tragic fate
No weep tale is mine
But with my friends
Shining brightly race through a beautiful landscape
Where rapturous scenes unfold

There are gardens overflowing with life
There are roads
There are hills

There are fairy tale lands
Bathed in moonlight
That no one knows of
There are lovely rivers
Palaces of crystal-
In the depths of my heart
Forever a golden sun is shining

Youth is the pulsing blood
That changes all to joy
Youth is the golden bell
That resounds through all things

Those who uphold
The joy of living
Are queens of good fortune
Those who can discover
The joy of living
Are victors of the spirit

Grazie Italia, Grazie grazie grazie

L'orgoglio Italiano è venuto fuori, le qualità di una popolazione che, nei momenti iu' difficili, riesce a dare il massimo. E il calcio non fa eccezione. GRAZIE RAGAZZI!

I have no words to describe the emotions, not to mention that I have no voice left -- I lost it during and after the game from the endless cheering and singing in celebration of our victory.

Italy is the champion. And sadly the World Cup is over after a glorious month-long party in Germany (and in all corners of the globe). It's an empty feeling knowing the tournament is over. I'm definitely going to have some serious post-World Cup withdrawal. I'm highly considering some stress-leave to regroup after all these emotions I've been going through. But it was a thrilling ride while it lasted and today I'm prouder than ever of where I come from.

Zidane's headbutt was un-necessary. It may have cost France the cup. The French lacked team spirit. There was never any excitement nor celebration when they scored in any of the match. David Trezguet was calm and did not show any emotion for missing the penalty. Whether Materazzi tickled his nipples or called him names, a legendary player like Zidane should have not lost his temper...A great player is one who lets his game do the talking and nothing else...speaking of Viera and Henry getting injured, well thats all a part of the game by which I mean a great soccer team is one in which the squad has enough good players who can replace the the ones who get injured. Italy didn't have the services of the great Nesta for the entire WC yet Materazzi did an excellent job in his place. So the bottomline is Italy won because they deserved to win and nothing else.

(if you'd like an instant replay of the headbutting click below and then put your mouse on Zidane).
http://www.gazzetta.it/openxlink.shtml?http://widelec.org/zidane.html


The French newspaper this morning read: "L' ITALIE, FINALEMENT" as if they won ten cups over the years. I'm sure I speak for all the Italians when I say where the French should put their French baguettes right now....;)

And here are the last moments:
http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/scp_v3/viewer/index.php?pid=16891&rn=458044&
amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;cl=586059&ch=458046&lang=enf

And please, don't forget to keep jumping up and down because: chi non salta un Francese e', e!

Grazie Ragazzi!

World cup 2006